Review of Mint Julep

OK so two months later, after viewing my video by Craig Newman, and photos by Rachael Shane and Alison Stock I was finally able to say I ROCKED IT! I totally did my best, totally went in there and gave the best performance a newbie, four-month seasoned aerial student could! So let me share with you a few shots :)

AND THEN THE FUN BEGAN.... But truly my face says it all... I had a BLAST!

Jennifer Marion Stinson

So Kiebpoli used my full name in aerial sesch yesterday.... Yikes! LOL Every time I fly I learn something new about myself. Thursday's lesson was I need to watch what the f**k I am doing! When I fly I look down, or at my toes or everywhere else but where exactly I am going. It's a weird kind of "let the muscles just work" type-thing but the beauty of aerial is learning to control your body with your mind and be in control and decide where it is you want to go. Aerial is so much more a mental challenge for me lately. I psych myself out and I'm scared as hell to just USE my left side/my "broken side". Is it the strength I'm missing- maybe? Is it the control- eh? Is it the awkward uncomfortable feeling of having to rely on it- YUPP probably that :) and K knows it. She pushes me right out of my comfort zone and it's freakin scary and awesome. Jennifer Marion Stinson... The dreaded "what the f**k are you actually doing right now" signal. And my lovely responses "I don't know?" "Where is my tail?!" A duhhhhh LOL. Being upside down wrapped up and squeezed by a rope high above the ground really does something to the brain and it's functioning I am convinced. Either way I've got a ton of work to do and love every second. Big things coming... Stay tuned for some pics :)

It's a beautiful morning...

Happy Monday bloggers! It's a new week and a gorgeous day is ahead. Birds are chirping, (quite annoyingly as I tried to sleep in a bit today) warm weather, but none the less a day that says "life is good". After a stressful, yet exciting and very emotional weekend of firsts I am happy to be back in my routine. This week I pick up my new prosthetic equipment, go to NYC to see Of Mice and Men with Grammy, Mom and Jessie and have a friend's graduation party on Friday night...good things to come!

I am much more motivated this week to continue my journey with learning aerial. I am so looking forward to my session on Friday! Time for bigger and better things.

What happens next?!

Live theater is live theater, there are no retakes and no redo! My first aerial showcase did not turn out nearly how I had planned it to go. I started strong..... the part I was worried about went flawlessly! I got past my spin and wasn't even half as dizzy and disoriented as I thought. Then I confidently (if I do say so myself) re wrapped into my opposite side dive wrapping instead of my S-wrap. I realized it when my "tail" wasn't where it usually was. "JEN" I heard from the audience and knew immediately it wasn't my group of cheerleaders. Kiebpoli was yelling to alarm me I couldn't continue into my swing or knee hang because I wasn't wrapped right. My brain froze and immediately wanted OUT. As she tried to mouth to me to re-hook my right leg I respond back "WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" very innocently and the audience roared with laughter. An audience that seemed a little dull and quiet suddenly woke up and there was I hanging in the air pleading for help! Embarrassed is not the word, because I was not embarrassed! I was rocking the performance, I felt good, I looked good (from what I hear) I just got all wrapped up in things- literally! As I safely struggled out of my silks I didn't feel embarrassed, I didn't want to cry I was MAD. I was mad because I knew that part of my piece. I nailed my S wrap better than my opposite side dive (which was by the way the best I had ever rotated around in it). Of all things my S wrap!!! Why?! I went backstage, vented to a group of my super supportive fellow aerialists and said to myself "oh well."

Madeline came backstage and offered me another chance. I immediately said NO. I felt what I left the audience with was a smile, a really good laugh, and I didn't feel I looked stupid or untalented- I just didn't get to finish. I didn't feel the comedic relief my piece left the audience paired nicely with a redo of my more serious, emotional performance. Once the bows were taken everything hit me. I didn't want to go out and face my family and friends. Again, I was not embarrassed I was mad and disappointed that they didn't get to see my skills the way I know I can perform them. I was more mad for them than for me. I know I can do that piece, but I wanted them to know I could. Of course everyone said how great I looked, blahh blahhh blahhhhh. Point of the story, I fucked up!! I FUCKED UP! But hey I recovered and I did not fall and that was my goal from the start- just don't fall!

Afterward one of my favorite new aerial friends, Colleen (who I think had the single best piece in the show) said something to me that literally made me feel like a million dollars.... She had injured her knee after her performance in the first half and was seated the entire show behind stage in a chair elevating her leg with ice on it. She could barely walk on the leg and was clearly in pain. I kept checking on her throughout the night. Anyway- she told me my piece was so beautiful and powerful that she even got up on her leg and limped over to the side to watch me perform- she did not do that for anyone else. I thanked her and it brought a tear to my eyes- literally. Well, this morning about 20 minutes before I am writing this I watched a video on my phone one of the other awesome, spunky girls (Carina) shot for me from backstage (you could see the shadows of the performers and it looked beautiful). Well sure enough, Colleen in the shot and as my performance takes off I can see her get up and cautiously but quickly limp over to the side to watch my piece. WOW. It literally made my entire day and made me feel like I was meant to perform and I will not just give up.

After a fun night out with Kelsey, my new best aerial friend, well no, my genuine new friend! I went home and cried my eyes out- until I fell asleep. "I had that piece, I knew was I was doing, why didn't I try it again" kept replaying in my head. Dan couldn't stress enough how great I looked, how impressive what I did was, etc. he knew all the right things to say. The one that stuck with me was that it was pure inexperience that was my downfall, and it was. It wasn't my lack of skill or abilities it was getting caught up and not knowing enough or performing enough or being in the spotlight enough to know how to recover more gracefully. He is so right. I have been learning aerial for about 2 months (13 hours of private sessions plus whatever few open workouts I attended before the show). Most of these performers have been doing aerial for a year or four! I went out there and sincerely disappointed in myself. I feel like I let my family and friends down. I wanted them to see what I could do. I am still distraught over it. I was disappointed in my performance and feel like I should have just given it another shot when they offered it. I have to just remind myself it's one show, my first show and I went out there and did something I would have never ever done fives years ago, ten years ago, or even last year! I had my leg off in front of more than a hundred people! I got in the air! More importantly I met some really awesome people, genuinely amazing spirited individuals and I wouldn't trade that for anything.

On a side note I am still caught up on how upset I am that I didn't get to finish the piece how I wanted and I feel like I could cry again when I think about it...... "This too shall pass."

Mint Julep Show Info

RECAP- Blogger hiatus!!!

Sorry bloggers- been on quite a hiatus as I have been distracted lately with preparing for my aerial show, a schedule change with my clients, being sick, blahhhhhh. But, NO EXCUSES! I'M BACK :)

So this past weekend has been an "emotional roller coaster" for me as Dan called it (and chuckled).

Friday
I had an Origami Owl jewelery party planned with some great friends/family at my place. I was super excited! I cleaned the apartment (with much help from Dan), bought all my snacks from Trader Joe's, got three different types of wine and was so ready for a fun girls night in.*roller coaster climbs up*
I also had my final private aerial session planned before my show, but I sat in traffic for 1hr and 45mins getting into Brooklyn and missed exactly half of my session! With my show a week and a day away and a change in my choreography I was STRESSED and super bummed *roller coasted quickly plummets* I came home feeling lost, disoriented and totally unsure if I could even perform. After being stressed out from missing my session and exhausted from sitting in traffic my aerial skills were not up to par. I was a nasty mess when I finally got home and complained to Dan about my inability to perform and how I totally suck. *roller coaster comes to complete halt* but I still enjoyed the company of my family/friends at the party.

Saturday
Kentucky Derby day! Dan took me to a nice breakfast (I got eggs and an oatmeal pancake- YUM). *roller coaster re-starts, climbs up, gains some speed* After a haircut and buying a Mother's Day gift we hit the Meadowlands Racetrack. We had never been there before and what a nice surprise! It was clean, had indoor and outdoor seating, food, drink, huge TVs, horse races and best of all FREE T-SHIRTS (I got two!). I ran into my Dad who was also there to bet on the Derby and we grabbed a spot upstairs to place a few bets. I lost one and won one- not too bad for my first time! Winning feels good! *roller coaster climbs a little higher*
OK so I got my nose pierced a few weeks ago and it had developed a gross bump around the gem- whatever, I needed to get it looked at. So after lunch at Panera Bread Dan took me back to the piercing place, Invisible Self Piercing in Lyndhurst. Basically he squeezed the living shit of it, it bled and hurt like hell, my eyes teared but he said it would be totally fine, scab over and heal alright...OUCH *roller coasted takes a tiny speed bumb*
Later that night we went to my Aunt's house to celebrate my cousin's birthday and watch the Derby. I am wiped out, exhausted and not hungry at all. My body aches, I'm freezing cold (I never get cold) and feel so weak. Dan takes me home to rest *roller coaster takes a big drop, one so big it turns my stomach- literally*

Sunday
SICK ALL DAY. Nauseous, tired, weak, can't eat, want to sleep.... I cancelled both my PT clients, couldn't attend the Christening for Dan's cousin and I missed my first aerial dress rehearsal! I was so upset, so sick and had no control over anything. I slept on and off all day and ate a few crackers and a finally a piece of chicken at 6pm, which didn't sit well and I went to bed nauseous again.*roller coaster continues it's descend- what a sucky way to start the new week*
I have never felt so incapable and helpless and I was freaking out about my performance fast approaching.

Monday my stomach bug lingered and I still went to work, but cancelled my PT clients so I could rest in between classes and go home early. I was in bed by 8pm! Tuesday it lingered on, but my mom took great care of me making sure I tried to eat some real food for the first time and drank some Pedialyte for electrolytes. I was attending an aerial rehearsal that night sick or not! I needed my confidence back and I needed to know what I was doing for the show! Dan drove me into Brooklyn for the rehearsal because I was still feeling weak and queasy- he's truly the best and treats me like a total princess :)

At rehearsal I struggled in the beginning, tried a few pieces from my choreography and tried to sneak out without performing in front of the other ladies. They are all much more experienced, poised, and well.... BETTER (or at least that's how I see it)! I feel like the black sheep over here like "help me when I get stuck in the air and can't get out of my wrapping and don't know what to do!".  Well, everyone encouraged me to try my piece to the music.... a big deep breath, music comes on and BAM! Next thing you know I am gliding through, not super confident, but nailing the choreography and feeling the music. I finish with my knee hang drop and the song closes- not finishing my piece with the cross back drop I had planned because I didn't get to it! NO problem there! As I hang upside down in the air I yell out "Done! Can I just end like this?!" and everyone laughs. I struggle to get out of my wrapping, but realized my mistake and Kiebpoli and I decide it's best to leave out the final drop because it's something still new to me and not one of the original pieces she wanted to use for my choreography- I totally agreed. I leave there feeling like I can totally do this.....now practice, practice, practice until show time!!

Not only was the weekend a total emotional roller coaster, but aerial is....every session is so different and I leave feeling so different. It takes me way up and brings me way down but I just have to keep pushing, keep trying, and stay confident! Attitude it everything....I got this! (I think!)

Choreography time....

MAY 10TH!!! My first time performing aerial will be in just a mere 3 weeks- EEEEEK! Today my younger sister and brother went with me to my aerial class, which was the first time I had spectators. Thomas was more than supportive, taking pictures of my lovely facial expressions while learning to spin in the air and perform my full choreography for the first time.                 

Overall it was a super exciting session. My music was chosen and I was more than thrilled with the selection (it's a surprise!). *K and I also went though my choreography so I feel way more secure about what I'm doing. I definitely have a lot of practicing to do, but I am totally confident I can make it work. *K is soooooo super supportive and despite the picture to the right, I "look beautiful in the air." :)